Here I sit amidst piles and piles of laundry! I mean mountains of this! Lately, I've been looking inward and outwardly at my actions and reactions to things to discover new things about myself. For example, I was looking at these piles of laundry, trying to figure out why this last week has been different. Normally I throw a load of laundry into the wash daily. This may seem like a lot to some, but let me remind you, I have 3 kids (one almost teenager daughter and one pre-schooler), a husband that wears nice clothing to work and has to come home to change to work around the house. So, why in the last week have I neglected to throw a load of laundry in the wash? It only takes a minute, a few minutes to hang up or fold? It could've been I had a busy week, thinking of school starting, the fair, spending some much needed time with my best friend, and we also had a house guest. Bill knows that my cleaning abilities are altered somewhat with house guests. I want to be the Mary (of the story of Martha and Mary). Mary sat at Jesus feet listening to him, paying very close attention to her house guests' every word. Martha stayed in the kitchen cooking, cleaning paying very close attention to the details of meal, the house the home. I neglect my housework for several reasons, the first being (now hang with me if you can), I heard a comment (or two) about housework when you have guests. I took these as negative comments (whether they were meant to be or not, doesn't matter). I then subconsciously told myself, don't do anything... I had fear. Fear of being rejected... see it's easier as humans as people to reject before being rejected. We think we need to be the ones to say good-bye first, to avoid being hurt. I needed to let go of laundry of housework to "seem" (to pretend) I was envolved, when all the while, I was avoiding. Avoiding laundry, avoiding visiting. I was pretending to be Mary to avoid the Martha duties. So is there a balance? Is there a balance between everything? For me there is. It's putting first what I am called to do, who I am called to be. Somedays I am called to be Mary, somedays Martha, and somedays both. God will give me the strength to do whatever it is I am to be doing. The laundry will get done, maybe not ALL of it today, but it will. I just have to make sure it's what I am suppose to be doing. For laundry means I am blessing my husband and my kids. Visiting means I am blessing others and MYSELF. Hey, and by the way if any of you want to come visit next week, please do! Love you, love me, love you, love me...
No comments:
Post a Comment